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Four Letter Word- #!?$

Fear can completely cripple you, deprive you of happiness, and keep you from going after your hopes and dreams. Not only that, but did you know that fear can make you physically sick?

Each time you feel fear, it triggers something called the “fight-or-flight” stress response in your body. If there is a cumulative buildup of the stress hormone, it can lead to disorders in our automatic nervous system. This can cause IBS, headaches, high blood pressure, etc. I don’t know about you but this makes me afraid of fear! How is that even possible?

The time that I feel the most fearful is at night, right before I fall asleep. Sometimes I can lay there and the thoughts of my deepest fears creep to the surface. It’s not the darkness that causes this fear, it’s the silence of the night. When I start to worry and let the fear come in, that’s when I start praying. I pray that my husband comes home safely after his shift, I pray for my son, I pray for my family members and friends, I pray for peace. If all else fails, I turn on Nick at Night and watch episodes of Full House, Friends and Fresh Prince of Bel Air until I drift off into sleep.

I like to call fear a four letter word because I tend to make situations ten times worse in my mind because of it. I can get myself all in a tizzy worrying about things that are out of my control. What I’ve realized is that most of the time you just have to let go and let God take care of you. Let your faith carry you.



Happy Monday Y’all!



My New Normal

I always knew that when I became a parent my life would completely change forever. I didn’t really know what to expect until I was fully in it though. You forget your old ways and habits and create new ones. I have most definitely created a new normal for my life.

The old me would roll out of bed by 7 am to be at work at 8 am or so. Now I wake up to the cutest alarm clock at about 5 am. The old me would cry, complain and beg for just 5 more minutes of sleep. Now I cry and beg for just 5 more minutes with Jacob. Don’t get me wrong, 5 am does come way too early sometimes but to say it’s worth it would be an understatement. The early mornings are seriously my favorite part of the day.


When I found out that I was pregnant, I was more worried about life with a newborn than I was the actual birth process. What I didn’t know was that natural instinct truly is a real thing. People told me all the time that it would just come natural to me and they were right. The old me was scared to even touch a newborn, or any baby really. I was scared I would break them.  I got the hang of this momma thing pretty early on. #gome

Seeing Brian interact with Jacob is the sweetest thing ever. The old me thought I loved Brian then but now seeing him with our son has made me fall in love with him all over again. He doesn’t have to work hard to make his “mini me” smile. He is a great role model and daddy for our son. I just had to brag about him. P.S. — Every time Jacob sneezes, Brian says “ oooo Goodness” and for some reason I think it’s the cutest thing ever.

jacoband daddy

Baby weight. No, I’m not talking about the sweet chubbiness of Jacob (he is becoming more chunky every day). I am talking about the extra chubbiness of his momma. I know it took 9 months to put on this weight but dang I wish it would have magically fallen off my body once Jacob came into this world. Two hundred thousand percent worth it though and I am always a work in progress. Weight has been something that I have constantly battled and I know I will for the rest of my life. I have some experience in gaining and LOSING a lot of weight, so I know it will come off with time and work.

Having a new tiny human in our world has added so much joy to our lives. It has also added a LOT of stuff. Each room in our house has a little trail of things that remind me of Jacob. A blanket here, a boppy pillow there, a cute little single sock laying on the floor, bottles in the sink, and a burp cloth by our bed reminds me every second of how lucky we really are to have this miracle in our lives.

I cannot imagine my life any different. Yes we have our moments of brief frustration and feelings of “this is parenting thing hard” but I wouldn’t change a thing. I love being Jacobs’s momma and I just had to tell the whole wide world.

Happy weekend! :)



Life Happens!

Well it’s been a long while since i’ve posted here! I totally meant to keep writing but one day lead to another and life got really busy. So busy and overwhelming that I just completely put my blog on the back burner. It happens, life happens.

Since we last talked, my life has completely changed! On October 31, 2014, my husband, Brian, and I found out that we were pregnant with our own little pumpkin. On that day, I bought a bottle of one of my favorite wines and a pregnancy test. I really didn’t think it would be positive ( hence the bottle of wine) but I took it anyway. Once I saw the two little lines, I was in disbelief. I ran downstairs to Brian and with my hands shaking, and I handed him the test. Happy tears and scared tears were streaming down my face and Brian assured me that we were going to be OK! We poured out that bottle of wine and I downloaded every pregnancy app on my iPhone that I could.

My pregnancy was not very complicated. I was lucky enough to not have really bad morning sickness, just the nausea and aches and pains. It all went smoothly and while I did my fair share of complaining ( mostly to my amazing husband), I knew I was really blessed. I did end up with pre-eclampsia, which was the only scary complication that I had and it lead to our baby being here just a little bit early.



IMG_2183                                (This was me the day I got admitted to the hospital. I was HUGE!)

Fast forward ten or so months, that little pumpkin is finally here. I know every parent thinks the same thing, that their child is perfect but ours really is (well, we are biased). Don’t get me wrong, we have our sleepless nights and sometimes I feel like I am doing everything wrong but he is perfect in our eyes. Being a momma is the hardest job I have ever had but it has been so rewarding, even in the first month. I have really had to learn to believe in myself again and that takes some work.


If you have followed my blog at all, you know that one of my most major accomplishments and passions was losing weight and becoming the most healthy version of myself I can be. While I was pregnant, I lost that. I did what I said I would never do while pregnant, I ate everything and anything I wanted. I ate so many bagels and chinese food, I was sure that my baby was going to come out as bagel or smell like sesame chicken or something.

So here I am now, not exactly where I was before but too close for comfort. I am back on my journey to become a healthier version of myself. Now not just for me, but for Jacob.


( Photography by Heather Creed Photography, http://www.heathercreed.com. Check her out!)



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